If He Had Been with Me is a deep, emotional teen romance that dives into the mind of Autumn, the main character. It’s full of intense internal thoughts, quiet heartbreak, and the feeling of being just slightly off from where you want to be.
Autumn grew up side by side with Finny, her mom’s best friend’s son. They were inseparable as kids—but by high school, things changed. Finny is now the star soccer player with the perfect, popular girlfriend. Autumn is more of a misfit, hanging out with her artsy, dyed-hair friends and dating the group’s unofficial leader.
As she goes through grades 9 to 12, Autumn tries to keep her feelings for Finny buried, all while dealing with anxiety, distant parents, and the weight of growing up. But sometimes, no matter how hard you try, first love refuses to fade.
What I loved most was how Laura Nowlin writes high school from the perspective of kids who aren’t in the spotlight. It’s not just jocks and prom queens—it’s the quiet kids, the different ones, the ones with too many thoughts. That made it feel real.
The writing is beautiful but heavy. I had to read it in small chunks just to process everything. There was a slow patch in the middle where things got repetitive, but it didn’t last long. The ending really brought everything together in a heartbreaking but powerful way.
🔞 Recommended for ages 15+ due to mature themes like anxiety, depression, and mental health struggles.
✨ If you liked Girl in Pieces or How to Make Friends with the Dark by Kathleen Glasgow, or A Good Girl’s Guide to Murder by Holly Jackson, you’ll probably love this too.
⭐ My rating: 5/5. It took me longer to read, but it was worth it. The story stuck with me, and the emotional depth made it unforgettable.
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